Top 10 Funny College Quotes

We probably don't need to tell you how stressful college life can be, both in traditional and online colleges. A 2010 study published by California school UCLA reported that money pressures, the fear of not finding a job and difficulty juggling school with everything else going on in life have left recent first year college students stressed and depressed. When things get tough, it helps to maintain your sense of humor. Our top 10 funny college quotes can help.

1. Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates.--A. Lawrence Lowell

2. Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man's lifetime income--which he then spends sending his son to college.--Bill Vaughn

3. Fathers send their sons to college either because they went to college or because they didn't.--L. L. Henderson

4. If you think education is expensive, try ignorance!--Andy McIntyre

5. You can lead a boy to college but you can't make him think.--Elbert Hubbard

6. The important thing is the educational experience itself…how to survive it.--Donald Barthelme

7. I have never let schooling interfere with my education.--Mark Twain

8. I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.--Woody Allen

9. No man should escape our universities without knowing how little he knows.--J. Robert Oppenheimer

10. Your school GPA is inversely proportionate to your girlfriend's looks and vise versa.--Unknown

Bonus: The Laws of Applied Terror

The following laws aren't really quotes, but they hit so close to home we thought we'd share.

  1. When reviewing your notes before an exam, the most important ones will be illegible.
  2. The more studying you did for the exam, the less sure you are as to which answer they want.
  3. Eighty percent of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed about the one book you didn't read.
  4. The night before the English history midterm, your Biology instructor will assign two hundred pages on planarian.
  5. If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.
  6. At the end of the semester you will recall having enrolled in a course at the beginning of the semester--and never attending.


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